Where is the line between misconfiguration and vulnerability? Red team attacks generally succeed by exploiting well-worn paths, as the resources required to discover new zero-days tend to be more fruitfully spent elsewhere. But does this mean that red team coders don't get to write any interesting new exploits? Far from it!In this talk, we will walk you through the process of developing a novel file format exploit and using it to root a public cloud service during a 2018 red team. This research, which the authors first presented at Derbycon 8.0, will be accompanied for the first time by the release of a new open source tool.