In this talk we'll explore the use of RF technology to track human beings, with a focus on handheld devices. We'll discuss strange and often terrifying methods of mapping wireless communication to human behavior, from packet sniffing trashcans to retail devices that monitor your movements and customer satisfaction. You may even notice some startling overlaps between the techniques used by law enforcement and data driven marketing agencies. Finally, we'll demonstrate implications of this technology within a physical security context. You may ask yourself by the end of this talk: what are we but our metadata?