What if we took the underlying technical elements of Linux containers and used them for evil? The result a new kind rootkit, which is even able to infect and persist in systems with UEFI secure boot enabled, thanks to the way almost every Linux system boots. This works without a malicious kernel module and therefore works when kernel module signing is used to prevent loading of unsigned kernel modules. The infected system has a nearly invisible backdoor that can be remote controlled via a covert network channel. Hope is not lost, however! Come to the talk and see how the risk can be eliminated/mitigated. While this may poke a stick in the eye of the current state of boot security, we can fix it!