Humans use tools, and the tools we use change us. This is true for everything we do, and we're rarely more inventive than where sex is concerned. To understand the future of sex, we need to think like designers, and look at the future of sexual technology. The most basic frontiers of sexual technology are relatively well-trodden. An IP connected dildo is boring---fun to use, and certainly not an exhausted category, but superficial and limited. Let's explore new territory, ask questions, and answer them with design fictions.