What does it take to successfully lead a team of miscreants, misfits, hackers, and troublemakers? How do we create rules for a workplace full of people whose job it is to break rules? With metrics! Right? Actually, we frankly have no idea. But relying on the latest in chaos theory, management theory, and TV tropes, this talk will provide actual and aspiring team leads advice on building great teams. For the job seekers in the security field, this talk will provide advice on identifying and social engineering your way onto great teams. Let’s be honest: hackers are not like regular people, and regular leadership advice is sorely lacking in lulz. Now is the time for a new approach.