"When you're hunting for bugs, let's face it - grepping for strcpy just doesn't cut it anymore. Instead of waiting for unsafe memory management functions to come back into fashion like moustaches or mustard coloured corduroys, I decided to check in with ""the future"", and see what it had to offer me. What I found was a sea of similarly puzzled individuals, bizarre terminology, and a number of code snippets that would only compile on specific, different versions of libraries. So I set about piecing together what I could, and ended up producing a working tool in a fairly short period of time. This talk shows what can be achieved if you want to build static analysis tools, and you don't want to spend a load of money or upload all your precious code to ""the cloud"". I will be making sense of the complex terminology surrounding this field, and detailing my struggles and conquests building a fast, flexible, and most importantly usable static analysis tool, all for free. If you're interested, but you wouldn't know a TranslationUnit from a bar of soap, this is the talk for you!