Come to this talk -- and though it's a demo, it's not a product demo -- and learn how today's cybercriminals are spreading their malware via the web. You will learn about the fascinatingly frustrating world of script obfuscation and the challenges it presents to anti-malware research. We'll show you a number of free tools and techniques you can use yourself, so that you'll be better equipped to understand the threat and to protect your own web servers from compromise. At the end of the talk, you'll understand what this is all about, why it's a threat, and how to handle it: and we'll give you the T-shirt to prove it. (But you must attend to get your obfuscated JavaScript T-shirt. We don't want imposters walking around in them, after all.)