Did you ever sit around in your trigonom etry class in high school wondering why you were learning anything about sinewav es or why they were even useful enough t o warrant learning to begin with? Math i s actually /pretty goddamn cool/. It may be irritating to solve for Y in all tho se formulas consisting of variable-salad , but solving for Y can be helpful in th e world of binary obfuscation. This talk will attempt to teach a few techniques that will allow for the application of a rbitrary mathematical formulas (such as sinewaves) to create unique, polymorphic sequences of assembly code. The weaknes s, strengths, pitfalls of assembly intri cacies and potential implementations of such obfuscation techniques will also be covered. frank^2 is a bottom-feeding script-kiddi e who has made numerous attempts at perf orming DDoS attacks with WinNuke. Freque ntly, he can be seen working Santa Monic a Boulevard, informing everyone he walks by of the services he'll provide and at tempting hard-sells by informing people of the cheeseburgers he's got. He uses t his coke-addled income to purchase Rbot herds, gathering infected nodes like an over-hyped hip-hop artist gathers bling. (The inability to do anything useful wi th said bling also applies.)